Monthly Archives: December 2011

Cafe 58 Espresso Bar @ Palmyra

Posted in Breakfast/Brunch, Coffee & Desserts, Food, Modern Australian by

Right smack in the heart of Palmyra sits Cafe 58 Espresso Bar, truly a local cafe that seems to busy all the time. Palmyra is not included in the territorial lines where I’d consider myself a local but I will happily travel the 15 minute driving time to get to this cafe.

Most nights we come here for coffee and desserts. But, after much raving about the dinner menu, Auntie J took us there one night for a big family affair. We had reservations at 6:30pm; the cafe was dimly lit and the staff was just getting ready for the dinner rush. This I found strange, to be honest. I would have expected a cafe/restaurant to be fully ready and prepared if they take reservations for as early as 6:30. A few of us arrived first and were showed to our table but it took forever to be handed the menus. They seemed understaffed and everyone looked like they were on to something else other than minding the customers. There is a $25 2-course special on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and given it was a Wednesday night we were interested in knowing what the blackboard specials were. The blackboard was empty and we had to wait a good 15 minutes for the specials to be written on the board.

Three of us had the specials that came with an entree of a tasting plate of olives, chorizo and beetroot dip with 3 thinly sliced bread and a main of barramundi with mashed potatoes.

I am not a big fan of this kind of entree and this really just reinforced that. Nothing special except that it was a good start to fill the hunger and enough to keep us from going insane waiting for the mains.

An hour after we were seated, the mains finally appeared. This was really a ridiculous waiting for a cafe specially since we were among the first few tables to have ordered. Anyhow, the food did come and they were all devoured in 10 minutes because we were that hungry.

Here is the grilled barramundi with lemon butter and creamy mashed potatoes.

The fish was good, not too heavily seasoned and cooked perfectly. And that mashed potatoes were divine. Really one of the best mashed potatoes I have tasted. It was creamy, almost puree like, and seasoned just right.

Then we have the aglio olio pepperincino – al dente spaghetti with olive oil, garlic and parsley with a hint of anchovies and optional fresh cut chilli. This is a very tasty pasta dish. The only problem was that it was drenched in olive oil and I mean literally drenched. Given that K had this dish, she had to scoop out the pasta onto a plate. Otherwise she would’ve been drinking olive oil on the side too. A little cousin had the same pasta without the chilli but he was oblivious to the amount of olive oil. He probably thought it was sauce.

Uncle J, then, had the chicken parmigiana. This is the lowest ranking dish of the night. It’s not that it wasn’t good. It just there wasn’t really anything special about it. Crumbed chicken breast topped with Napolitana sauce and an oozing amount of mozzarella cheese. The layer of cheese was too much for him so he scooped off some. Other than that, the chicken was juicy and the side of Napolitana pasta was good too.

To save the best for last, out of all the dishes we ordered, I thought that I had the best dish for the night – marinated chorizo chicken. It was a grilled whole chicken breast with spinach, baby potatoes, sliced chorizo and grilled prawns. The chicken was succulent and the prawns were smokey. The jus made the dish even better. I loved and savoured every bite.

Onto dessert. The staple that we always have here at Cafe 58 is the sticky date pudding. It was love at first bite so we have been getting this pudding every time we drop by for coffee. It is sweet, sticky, date-y and just the right size for sharing. Served warm with ice cream. The best part is that you can hardly taste the sodium bicarbonate (that is usually evident in other cafes’ sticky date products).

I was feeling adventurous that night too so I got myself a choc avalanche tart. Oh my. This tart is very sinful. It looked harmless at first but a very rich chocolate filling was waiting for me when I dived into it. I am a big fan of the filling but not the pastry. There is something about it that did not go well with the chocolate. I think it was that eggy taste. It was so rich I only ate half an took home the other half.

Overall, Cafe 58 gives a good dining experience with the occasional mishaps that cafes experience from time to time. Staff are very friendly but some needs to be more attentive. Looks like we’ve found another place we can pig out at.

My rating: 7/10

Cafe 58 Espresso Bar on Urbanspoon

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Crepe Cherie @ Claremont

Posted in Food, French by

Welcome to Paris in Perth. For weeks Auntie C has been bugging me to find a creperie in Perth and I finally managed to find one this fine Saturday morning. A trip to Claremont has found us indulging in this French delicacy and it sure made my day off from work absolutely worth it.

Located amongst the many shops at Bayview Centre, Crepe Cherie is tucked away at one of the corners of the centre, towards the rear away from the busy Stirling Hwy, but is far from forgotten. The ambiance and the setting looks very French and I love how the alfresco area has enough wind and light whilst hidden away from the sun without noisy cars zooming past.

We arrived early in the morning around 8am and the creperie was still quiet. Just another couple was there and I really enjoyed the quiet morning with my cuppa and magazine. Crepe Cherie serves both savoury and sweet crepes, some pastries like eclairs and almond croissants and macaroons. The menu is simple so it was a breeze choosing what to feed my growling tummy. I went over to the counter and was instantly greeted by a friendly bonjour. C’était un vraiment bon jour!

We had both a savoury and sweet crepe that are to be shared, of course. For the savoury one we had the Crepe Julien that had champignons, spinach, potato mash and tomato and onion jam. The crepe was not something I expected at all. It was too thin for my liking and missing the chewiness that I prefer. If there’s one thing good with thinner crepes it’s that it feels lighter in the stomach. The filling, although with potatoes, was not too heavy (also given that Auntie C and I shared one) and very tasty; served pipping hot. The  tomato and onion jam was sweet and tangy that sent my taste buds jumping for joy. It’s either Auntie C had the half where all the mushrooms were or they simply just forgot to put enough mushrooms. I had but one piece of mushroom.

After the savoury it’s off to polish the sweet crepe. We had the Crepe Celine with strawberries, jam, icing sugar dusting with a side of whipped cream. Now this is the chewier crepe that I preferred. Different types of crepes for different kinds of filling and this sweet one here reminded me all over again why I love crepes. Folded into a triangle with sliced strawberries and jam inside, this crepe tasted amazing. The jam may be a bit too sweet for me but I enjoyed every single bite regardless.

The crepes were, again, lighter than the usual ones I have so it doesn’t leave you too full. I washed it down with Crepe Cherie’s own blend of coffee that went really well with the sweet crepe. Very robust and acidic on the first sip but this was just perfect to mellow out the sweetness of the crepe.

Needless to say we have found a little gem in Claremont and we’ll surely be coming back for more French madness. French cafe music in the background makes it très parisien too.

My rating: 7.5/10
Crepe Cherie on Urbanspoon

www.crepecherie.com.au

Thank God for casual Fridays

Posted in People, Perth by

photo courtesy of Computer Clip Art

“Today I don’t feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don’t feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
‘Cause today I swear I’m not doing anything”
– The Lazy Song, Bruno Mars

Bruno Mars pretty much sums up in that chorus what I was feeling this morning when I opened my eyes. I want to do nothing but stay in bed. Sadly, that really is not an option for people who work for a corporate body. There is that commitment to show up for work the moment you signed that contract (except for the days when you are faking actually sick or on self-imposed approved leave).

Like most people my favourite work day is Friday because

“It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s looking forward to the weekend, weekend”
- Friday, Rebecca Black

Not only that, the company I work for is very casual. So by the time we get to Friday it is over-the-top casual and I am very thankful for such casual Fridays – it makes this particular work day so much more bearable.

Let me just point out at this stage that I do love my job. I get the occassional usual “why do I have to go to work” syndrome every morning but I still happily drag myself out of the house and into the office because my job and my workplace are awesome. Mondays to Thursdays are alright. Some days time just stands still. Some days I cannot get hold of enough work hours in 1 day.

But casual Fridays are the bomb! I don’t know what’s going on in your workplace but in mine I see these things happening on this particular day:

  • Everyone in the office is even more laidback than usual
  • More people are snacking on chocolate bars
  • More gossiping chatting sessions are happening than actual work
  • Everyone is particularly nicer to everyone else
  • Work environment is not as tensed and/or stressed
  • People come in later and go home earlier
  • Smiles are everywhere

I seriously think those are due to the power of the jeans. Yes, jeans. Levi’s, Diesel, Just Jeans, Mossimo – whatever brand it is you’re wearing jeans make Fridays feel like Saturdays; and who doesn’t like Saturdays?

Then top that with a T-shirt. Round-neck, V-neck, plunging, rainbow coloured, Christmas-themed – T-shirts make a person appear less authoritative and more approachable hence the less tension in the office air.

The way I see it casual Fridays produce more happier employees so, really, more companies should adopt it then we can start paving our way to world peace.

Happy Friday everyone!

The Red Herring @ Fremantle

Posted in Food, Modern Australian by

Just among the many Christmas dinners and functions that are laid before me in 2011, my company booked 2 tables at The Red Herring in Fremantle. Located along Riverside Drive, there is no question that the view was spectacular. Summer has began so by the time we were all settled comfortably in our seats at 7pm we were able to catch the sunset with hues of orange and purple set against the river and yachts.

I have heard good reviews from friends about The Red Herring so I was delighted when the company sent out the invites with this venue. Finally, I get to see what the fuss was about. But it quickly turned out to be a much ado about nothing. We had the December set menu and, frankly, I was not all that impressed. For such a much talked about fine dining restaurant I expected something different. Something more exciting.

For starters, among the choices were:

  • Snapper and spring onion fishcake, Thai noodle salad

The fishcakes tasted fresh and are lightly seasoned. The outside was fried to perfection and I thought that snapper was a good choice for the cakes. The Thai noodle salad, however, is neither Thai nor a salad. It was more like 5 strands of noodles lumped together to create a salad illusion. I not sure what we were supposed to be tasting here.

  • Warm pork belly salad, bacon, egg and brie

Again, what was the flavour combination supposed to taste like? The combination of pork, brie and egg did not make sense to me as there was not any harmony with the flavours. Worse, the star of the dish, the pork belly, just did not make the cut for what a good pork belly should be. In my opinion, pork belly should only be cooked in either 2 ways: stewed or crispy skinned. Nothing in between. What was wrong with this pork belly was that it did not taste fresh and the skin was chewy. It’s as though the pork wasn’t given enough attention.

For mains, some of dishes included:

  • Crispy skinned salmon, seeded mustard mash, asparagus, lemon beurre blanc

The salmon was perfect. Crispy skin, as it says on the menu, flesh cooked just right leaving it moist and juicy. The mashed potatoes were cold; not sure how long it has been sitting out before they plated up the whole dish. And it looked like someone went overboard with the mustard seeds seeing as the mustard way overpowered the potatoes. Well the beurre blanc looked more like a curd but the zesty lemon taste gave a nice tang to the fish.

  • Grilled sirloin of beef, sweet potato, pancetta, field mushroom

Nothing special about this dish, really. It’s a lump of steak that anyone can cook at home. I asked for medium and got a well done one instead. The sweet potatoes are not my choice of carbohydrates with beef. Best thing about this dish was the field mushroom and that’s only because I love mushrooms.

The menu said that all mains are served with a side of salad. Where was my salad?? Oh wait, there it was in the middle of the table. The bowl of salad was placed in the middle of the table and they expected us to share it. The ratio was 1 bowl to 4 people.

For desserts, we had a choice of:

  • Pavlova, lemon curd, rosewater ice cream, berry compote

This wasn’t my order personally. Based on what my colleagues have told me it’s a mixed review. One says it absolutely delicious, well, because she loves anything pavlova and thinks that the lemon curd made it all the more special while my other colleague thought it was so-so. The dessert was sweet, sour and bitter all at the same time, she said. Meringue was sweet. Lemon curd was sour. Berry compote was bitter. Go figure.

  • Plum pudding, nutmeg ice cream, brandy sauce

When it comes to “fruitcake”, it’s either you love it or you hate it. In my case, I hate it. I was kind of hoping that this would taste something like sticky date pudding but obviously it did not because it is a plum pudding. Putting aside the fact that I do not like fruitcake, which this plum pudding tasted like, one of my other issues with this dessert is that it tasted like it came straight out of the box.

My boss on the, other hand, told me just minutes ago that it was “simply beautiful”.

To me it was sort of a disastrous fine dining restaurant. The seafood was great; I’d give that to them. But just because a restaurant specialises in seafood it does not mean that they can overlook the way other foods are prepared and served hoping that good oysters can make up for a bad steak.

To make it worse than it already was service was not good either. My colleague asked for another basket of bread twice. And twice it never came. We assumed they forgot about it the first time. And the scond time she followed up we were told that it was placed at the other end of the table. Wouldn’t one put the basket in front of the patron who asked for it? On a another note, I asked for a little bit of white wine, about 1/8th of the glass, just to have a taste, while physically showing the waitress how much I intend to drink and still I ended up with half a glass full and it wasn’t even my choice of wine (hence the tasting first).

The evening was only saved by a good company. And the fact that it was a Christmas dinner.

My rating: 5/10
The Red Herring on Urbanspoon

Zucchero Espresso @ Victoria Park

Posted in Breakfast/Brunch, Food by

I was in Victoria Park a few months back, after a job interview, when I stumbled onto Zucchero Espresso. I was shopping for a car back then at John Hughes and this cafe is conveniently located near the car dealer so that was where I had my brunch. It is a little corner cafe with limited space inside and a few tables on the sidewalk. For my first visit I sat outside enjoying the bright sunny day with my contadino poached eggs, tomato and onion reduction on sourdough toast.

This may be one of the tastiest breakfast I have had. The tomatoes are rich and just acidic enough that is mellowed out by the poached eggs. The yolks were on the runnier side so I ended up essentially mixing the yolks with the tomatoes. It was a refreshing meal.

For the second visit I was very tempted to get the same contadino poached eggs because I enjoyed it so much but I decided to try something different. I got the Zucchero plate that consisted of bacon, mushrooms, scrambled eggs, tomatoes, sausage and sourdough toast.

Now this looks like any regular big breakfasts out there but let me point out 2 things that made it such a delight to have on a bright and breezy Tuesday morning. The scrambled eggs are the best ones that I have ever had in a Perth cafe – creamy and not overcooked; just the way scrambled eggs are supposed to be. Then there were the mushrooms. Unlike those served by other cafes – button mushrooms sauteed with just salt and butter - Zucchero Espresso went one step further and added cream and herbs to 2 kinds of mushrooms. They tasted divine! I won’t lie to you; this is one heart-stopping meal – heavy on the salt and grease from the bacon and sausages were not drained well. But it is worth a try. The serving was ginormous too so it was enough for sharing. I ate the whole plate by myself and could not finish it. Not only that, I skipped lunch as well because it kept me full until late in the afternoon.

My rating: 7.5/10

Zucchero Espresso Bar on Urbanspoon

Northbridge Chinese Restaurant @ Northbridge

Posted in Chinese/Asian, Food by

It really does not feel like a Sunday if my family and I do not head out to Northbridge and wait under the sun (during summer) or rain (during winter) for some dim sum family time. Northbridge Chinese Restaurant, along Roe Hwy, is one of our favourites for such a meal. It’s a little pricier than other dim sum restaurants but it’s worth it – foodwise.

What I like most is that the dim sums do not taste like they are loaded in oil or fat. They are very flavourful without being too saturated so you don’t feel really heavy afterwards. If you decide to come here on a Sunday either come very early (i.e. before everyone else) or be prepared to wait in line. And the line can be really long. Once you get in, though, you will feel that weariness (from waiting in line) go away at the sight of the dim sum trolleys. In line with what you’ll find in dim sum restaurants in Asia, little bamboo steamers filled with dumplings or chicken feet or ox tripe are stacked high in steam-generating trolleys that are pushed around the resturant making occassional stops at tables with drooling patrons.

It’s best, really, to go with a bigger group so you can sample more choices. There are so many steamed and fried dim sums to choose from that we usually skip breakfast altogether so we can eat more. Either that’s smart or just plain sad is up to you. Works well for us! For a family of 9-10, we usually need around 20 dishes to fill us up:

  • har gow (prawn dumplings)
  • siu mai (pork dumplings)
  • coriander prawn dumplings
  • beef balls
  • fish ball
  • scallop prawn dumplings
  • steamed rice rolls
  • chicken feet
  • seafood and beancurd roll
  • steamed spare ribs
  • egg tart

  • radish/turnip cake
  • salt and pepper squid
  • deep fried tiny fish (exact name I do not know)
  • fried dough with rice roll

Then, for dessert, my personal favourite is the dao fu fa. Silky smooth tofu-like delicacy made from soy beans and served with syrup. This is a much better choice than mango pudding.

The many times I’ve been here food has been consistenly good. That’s the dim sum bit I’m referring too. They’re as close to the ones you can get in Hong Kong.

For banquet meals during dinner time, well, I wouldn’t say they were exceptionally good. They were good but nothing made them stand out from other Chinese restaurants in the area.

If you can get past the mediocre and arrogant service that you may sometimes come across from impatient older staff and indifferent younger staff who look like they are forced to work there, Northbridge Chinese Restaurant is really worth a lunch time dim sum trip.

My rating: 7.5/10

Northbridge Chinese on Urbanspoon

Exploring Perth 2: Perth Hills

Posted in Adventures, Perth, Travel by

Thanks to a car breakdown incident, I have discovered a new place in Perth. It’s not new per se but it’s unchartered enough that it brings me all kinds of excitement whenever I pay it a visit. Of all the years I have lived in Perth, I have not once set foot in this part of town; a town called Kalamunda, part of what is otherwise known as the Perth Hills.

Left crippled without a car, I decided to ask the company I work for, after being fed up with public transportation, if we had any spare vehicle that I may borrow while my car is being fixed. Luckily, there were quite a few spares! A colleague and I drove up to Kalamunda to pick up the spare vehicle – it’s also safe to say that I can now cross out driving a pick up truck from my bucket list – and it was the conversation I had with her during the ride that sparked my interest in exploring Perth Hills. The drive up made me realise that Kalamunda is not that inaccessible from where I live (as I previously thought); about 30 minutes from home and 15 minutes from the office by car without traffic jams.

My quest to look for a decent cupcake shop in Perth made me trek my first official visit to Kalamunda. That visit was enough to make me want to come back for more. I was pressed for time then so I only took about half an hour or so to stroll around. The shopping area, located along Haynes Street and its surrounds, is not that big but also not that small. It is small enough that it has a very close-knit community feel to it yet big enough to provide you with whatever you need (supermarkets, Bunnings, cafes, restaurants, shopping…).

One Sunday, after much Googling about Perth Hills, I went to the Kalamunda Farmer’s Market. This market is open until 12pm every Sunday so Auntie C and I rushed off after an early breakfast to get there before it closes. Big mistake regarding that breakfast. There was so much to eat at the markets that we should’ve just eaten breakfast there! A few cafes were open and there was also a creperie stall. Being full would not stop us from eating more anyway; it would just make us extremely full and skip lunch altogether. A few of the things you’ll find at the market are:

  • specialty bread
  • fresh fruits and veg
  • seafood
  • olives/olive products
  • crepes
  • plants for sale
  • honey
  • macarons

So after a stoll on a fine spring day, we decided to cool down with some homemade ice ceam at Collodel. This is one of the best homemade ice creams I have had in  a while. It was smooth and not too sweet. Just perfectly divine. I had the creme caramel flavour and it was yum yum yum.

Since we were already in the area, Auntie C and I headed out to Gooseberry Hill; a neighbouring suburb that is like a 2-minute drive. The main reason for going there was to go to this French cafe and patisserie called Le Croissant du Moulin. It is tucked away in a very small village shopping centre along Railway Road that I missed it while cruising down the street. Thankfully there was a round-about nearby. All the cakes looked enticing that I really really want to buy them all. Okay, we limited ourselves to just 3 (because we didn’t have enough cash left). Two words for the sweets – tres delicieux! I have concluded by now that Perth Hills houses some of the city’s best kept food secrets.

On the way home, we drove through the scenic zig zag drive that is worth a visit too. I never knew Perth had a scenic, let alone a zig zag, drive. It is a sight of the city from a different point of view.

That’s half a Sunday well spent.

The 10 customers I’d love to hate this holiday season

Posted in People by

It’s officially Christmas month and I am marking my 4th year of selling Christmas pies (or tarts or fruit mince pies or whatever). I kid you not. I really do love the festive season but Christmas time can also be stressful for the seemingly easy job in a bakery due to the holiday rush and last minute entertainment purchases. Most of the time, though, it is the customers who really get to us (me and my colleagues). Instead of sharing with you my wish list for Christmas, here is something you’d probably enjoy more – The 10 types of customers I’d love to hate during this festive season.

#1: Indifferent parents with annoying kids

Scenario: A parent (usually the mum) comes up to buy bread while the child/ren either

  • plaster their faces onto our glass displays leaving traces of their gunk or
  • bang loudly on the glass displays or
  • reach over the tastings container that they obviously can’t reach and then subsequently knocking over the whole container.

Mum just stands there and does nothing even when completely aware of what is happening.

What we are thinking: We’d really love to smack your child for you if you don’t.

#2: Space invaders

Scenario: A man comes up to buy bread and leans over the counter so close to you leaving just a mere half foot (6 inches) distance between your faces.

What we are thinking: Hey buddy, please respect our personal space bubble. Plus, we really do not want to smell your breath specially if it’s not minty fresh.

#3: Grumpy old people

Scenario: An old man walks up to the counter and the rest goes like this:

  • Me: Hi there, Sir. How may I help you today?
  • Old man: (in a very angry tone) Do not say “hi”. Americans use “hi”. We are Australians. You should say “good day, sir”.

What we are thinking: WTF? Racist much? We really do not need to be lectured on proper salutations of different nationalities. And we know it’s probably lonely living alone but do not take out your frustations on us.

#4: Ghost whisperers

Scenario: These are the people who simply refuse to speak up. The whole conversation usually goes like this:

  • Us: Hello. What can I get for you today?
  • Whisperers: (hardly audible) Could I please have a white sandwich loaf?
  • Us: Sure! Did you want to have that sliced thick or thin?
  • Whisperers: (hardly audible) Thin.
  • Us: I’m sorry, did you say thick?
  • Whisperers: (hardly audible) Thin.
  • Us: *proceeds to go slice the bread thick*

What we are thinking: We’d really love to ask you questions only once coz we know you’re in a hurry and, quite frankly, we’re in a hurry too. We’re being nice if we asked the second time to ensure that you get exactly what you want. But, hey, buying and selling is a 2-way street. Speak up, for goodness’ sake. It’s not like we’re aksing you how much you have in your bank account. Speaking up avoids confusion. And for the record, thick and thin sound exactly the same to us on the other side of the counter (unless you really stress on the CK and N).

#5: The she’s-hot-you’re-not couple

Scenario: A guy walks up to the counter with his girlfriend to buy savoury rolls.

  • Him – sloppy dresser, ugly haircut, altogether not good looking, does not know the words please and thank you, rude, makes inappropriate side remarks to the younger staff
  • Her – great dresser, killer body with good looks, says please and thanks, sometimes looks embarrassed by her boyfriend (due to the above)

What we are thinking: OMG. You guys haven’t broken up yet? Darling, what are you still doing with a slop like that?

#6: The pointer

Scenario: A person walks up to the counter and goes…

  • Pointer: Can I have 2 of that? *points to whatever that is*
  • Us: Um, which one?
  • Pointer: That. *points to that again*
  • Us: This one? *points as close to what pointer was pointing at*
  • Pointer: No. THAT, the one below. *starts wiggling his finger to indicate the lower deck*
  • Us: Oh, this. *points to the lower deck*
  • Pointer: No, another one down. *wiggles finger again*
  • Us: THIS?
  • Pointer: Yes. THAT.

What we are thinking: Could I please slap you now? Product labels are clearly put up and stuck next to the products so that we could avoid the whole THIS and THAT shenanigans. Now could you please try to read the labels next time? If you dont speak English that’s fine. All we ask is that you try and we’ll most likely get what you’re trying to say anyway before you finish saying the whole word. Pointing is not appreciated. If you think you are pointing clear enough, well, here’s a newsflash: Your angle is different to the angle we are seeing.

#7: Phone fanatics

Scenario: These are the people who are already talking on their mobile phones when they walked up to the counter. We don’t even need to actually say anything to each other because they dont even hear you when you talk to them. Then they start becoming the pointers. Mostly it becomes a sign language.

  • Phone fanatics: (while still on the phone) *makes a peace sign indicating 2 of something then points to something*
  • Us: *points to whatever we thought she pointed at*
  • Phone fanatics: *shakes head to indicate that was not it and wiggles finger to indicate higher or lower*
  • Us: *points above or below the point of origin*
  • Phone fanatics: *nods indicating we got it right then winks and gives us a thumbs up*
  • Us: *turns around and grumbles while getting the products*
  • Us: *returns to the counter with the products* That would be $2 please.
  • Phone fanatics: *hands over a $50 note*
  • Us: (self thought) Seriously, a 50 for 2 bucks? Here’s your change. Have a nice day.
  • Phone fanatics: *gets changes, pick up purchases and leave while still on the phone*

What we are thinking: It really is not difficult to tell the person on the other line to “hold on a sec” or “I’ll call you back”. Talking out loud on the phone while sign languaging with us is plain rude. As much as we love Hollywood gossip, we couldn’t care less whose boyfriend cheated on who with whoever’s cousin. Here’s a simple tip – stand aside, finish your call then come up to the counter. For all you know I may have shortchanged you but you wouldn’t know anyway because you don’t even know how much your purchases cost in the first place.

#8: The special-flour kind of people

Scenario: Life was so much simpler when all we had were white, wholemeal, grain, rye, and malt bread. Then, along came news and findings about alternative flour like gluten free, spelt, lupin and others that are supposed to be better for you. Something like this is always bound to happen..

  • Special flour people: Do you sell gluten free/spelt/lupin bread?
  • Us: No, sorry we don’t.
  • Special flour people: Why not?
  • Us: There is not enough demand at this stage for us to make that type of bread.
  • Special flour people: Well, (Insert competitor’s name) sells them. *walks away looking disgusted*

What we are thinking: If our competitor makes that type of bread and you know that they make it then go buy it from them. Simple. There’s only like 1 in 50 of you special flour kind of people who come to our shop so it really is not worth the cost of making 1 loaf of that special flour bread just for you. That’s what speciality stores are for. Wholemeal bread is good enough too if you’re trying to be healthier. People allergic to gluten may be forgiven at this stage but only if they are not the other types of annoying customers.

#9: Choosy people

Scenario: Some people know exactly what they want so much so that it becomes annoying.

  • Choosy: Can I please have a white sandwich loaf?
  • Us: *proceeds to pick up a loaf then gets interrupted*
  • Choosy: No not that one. I want that one over there.
  • Us: *picks up the one over there*
  • Choosy: Um, actually that’s a bit too high. It won’t fit in my toaster. Do you have a low down one?
  • Us: *searches the whole pile for a low down loaf*
  • Us: They’re all pretty much the same height. Maybe this one? *shows choosy a seemingly low down loaf*
  • Choosy: Okay sliced thick please. And could you put  half in 1 bag and the other half in another bag?
  • Us: Sure. No problem.

What we are thinking: You just wasted 5 minutes of our lives that we’ll never get back. What’s worse is that we have to go through this process EVERY single time that you are here. Honestly, we’re not really “searching” for a very low down one because we know they’re all of the same height (with probably like a 1 centimetre difference at most). And how do we know that? Because they are all baked from the same batch. Quite frankly, too, we do not give a damn about your toaster.

#10: FUBARs (if you don’t know what this means please Google it)

Scenario:

  • FUBAR: *walks up to the counter of a bread bakery* Can I buy bread?
  • Us: o_O What kind of bread?
  • FUBAR: I don’t know. You know? Bread. *makes shapes using hands trying to show us the bread she’s looking for while trying to be funny*
  • Us: Is it for something in particular?
  • FUBAR: Uh. No. Not really. Just bread, you know.
  • Us: (self thought) I really don’t know.

This is, by far, the number 1 kind of customer that we’d love to not serve (if given the choice).

What we are thinking: You want bread? No kidding. Hello? Obviously you want bread. Why else would you come to a bread bakery? Telling us you don’t know what kind of bread you want makes us lose interest. And it’s not as funny as you think it is. At least have an idea of what you intend to do with the bread then we can start from there. We’re happy to help – just don’t come to a bread bakery asking for “bread“. It’s like going to a Toyota showroom and saying “Can I buy a car”? Uh no. We don’t sell cars here. Or like going to a bookstore and saying “Do you have a book?”. Uh, no honey, this is not that kind of a bookstore.

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But if all shoppers are like the ideal customer the world would be a much happier place.

Our ideal customer is a friendly chap/lady/elderly who knows what they want and have made up their minds (or questions) prior to approaching a sales staff. It goes something like this:

  • Us: Good morning! How may I help you, sir/ma’am?
  • Ideal customer: Hi! Can I please have a wholemeal loaf with sesame seeds, thickly sliced, if there are no sesame seeded ones left a plain one will do and also half a dozen white knotted rolls with no seeds on top.
  • Us: *proceeds to get the order ready*
  • Us: Anything else?
  • Ideal customer: No thanks.
  • *a monetary exchange happens*
  • *Us: Thank you. Have a nice day!
Quick, simple  and specific with no frustrations whatsoever. You leave happy. We feel happier.
So, if you think you are not one of the 10 kinds of annoying shoppers you are more than likely to get a good to great service.

***Happy Christmas shopping and Season’s Greetings***